Fins and the Legman
by Boolia
Summary: When the family sees the dead body of a woman they saw on the news, the police arrests Stan by mistake. Klaus volunteers to replace Steve as Wheels since he's in the hospital. Can Fins and the Legman get along and bring the murderer to justice?
1. Part 1

Fins and the Legman

Part 1

"_Boy,"_ Steve said as soon as they came home from _Buccas_. Klaus, who was playing _Angry Birds_ on Steve's IPod Touch, looked up. "That spaghetti was to _die_ for!" He sprawled out on the couch. Roger was dressed as a lady. He had a bright red glittery dress, matching earrings shaped like moons and a matching bonnet, a long blond wig that almost touched the floor, fake eyelashes, had rosy red lipstick on and a snowy white purse. He was 'Francisca Malblelade'. Jeff put an arm around his wife.

"I'm all stuffed!" Jeff spoke. "Aren't you, babe?"

"Yes!" Hayley agreed. "I can't eat another bite!"

"Did you get anything for me?" Klaus spoke from his bowl.

"_Nope_!" Stan told him. Klaus frowned and resumed playing. Stan and Francine went to the next room. Steve looked at Klaus.

"That's mine Klaus." He said. "You shouldn't be playing it."

"_Relax Steve_," Klaus assured him. "I'm helping you beat level 26 since you have trouble beating it."

"I didn't say you could help."

"Well, I'm helping you, so there! Besides, it was just lying with the game still on on the end table, saying 'play me, play me'. You forgot to turn it off when you left."

"No I didn't! You just started playing it because you were bored."

"That too." Steve then held his stomach and groaned.

"_Ohhh!" _He mourned. "I don't feel so good." His face turned green and he vomited on the floor. Hayley, Roger and Jeff were disgusted.

_ "EWWW, Steve_!" His sister complained. "_Gross!"_

"I can't help it." Steve explained. "I feel sick. I think I got food poisoning from the spaghetti." He vomited again.

"_OOH_!" Roger squealed. "Are you going to sue them?" He then began singing verses from 'I'll Sue Ya' from Weird Al Yanckovic. "_Sue, sue! Yes, I'm gonna sue you!_

"No." Steve answered. "If I sue them, I may never go back there."

"Oh, and that'll be the end of the world if you can never go to _Buccas _ever again, well it _is_ 2012! Oh wait, we already established that fact when we went to the year 3000."

_"All right_!" The fish cheered. "_Steve_, I just beat your record for this level! Now on to level 27."

"Can someone take my I-pod away from him, _please_?" Steve asked.

_"Certainly_!" Roger proudly volunteered. He went over and slapped the I-pod out of Klaus' fins. The I-pod fell to the ground.

_"Hey!"_ The fish complained. "I was about to beat the high score!"

"Don't you know not to take things that don't belong to you?"

"I can't help it; it's like a drug; it's highly addictive! Plus, _you _take stuff without permission Roger!"

_"Hmmm_, good point."

"What's so addictive about a game that launches birds to various structures just to kill the pigs that stole their eggs?" Hayley asked. "I mean, pigs don't steal eggs, especially bird eggs. I don't get it."

"Don't question the game Hayley." Jeff told her. "It's addictive because it's fun!"

"It seems to me that it teaches people that's it's okay to kill other people just because they stole from them. That's just wrong!"

"You know what I think?" Jeff said. "I don't think you should blame a violent video game for a kid's actions. I think the kid who does violent acts is because they _choose_ to do it."

_"True," _Hayley told her husband. "But the game also _leads_ them to do it. It's like saying that kids reflect their parents." Stan and Francine came back into the room.

"Time for the nightly news!" Stan announced. He and Francine looked horrified at the vomit on the floor.

"Who did this?" Francine asked.

"Steve." Hayley answered. Francine went to her son and knelt by his side.

"Oh Steve, are you sick?" She felt his forehead. Her eyes widened. "Stan, he's burning up! We should check his temp!"

"Okay," Stan agreed. "You go get the thermometer; I'll get the news started."

So, that is what they did. Francine went to fetch the thermometer while Stan turned on the TV.

Stan just got to the news channel when Francine came back with the thermometer. She knelt by Steve and put in in his mouth. After Terri and Greg introduced themselves, the first story began. All eyes went to the TV. The TV showed a picture of a black haired lady wearing blue.

"A husband, George Henston beat his wife, Charlotte Henston brutally to death." Greg began. "Witnesses state that this happened because Charlotte refused to let George go to a casino and have a drink at a bar with his friends instead of attending their family game night."

_"Goodness_!" Francine said. "That's _terrible_!" She looked at her own husband. "You won't do that, will you Stan?"

"Don't worry honey," Stan told her. "I wouldn't dream of it."

"Good." She looked back at Steve.

"If you do," Klaus began. "Go psycho like Norman Bates did, can I have Francine?"

_"Shhh!"_ Roger hushed him. "Hush Klaus, and why do you still have feelings for Francine? You know that she's married so you can't have her."

"I know, but still, a fish can dream, can't he?"

"You sicken me, you know that? Besides, if Stan _does_ go psycho and kills her, you can't have her either way since she'll be dead."

"Then I'll make sure that _never_ happens."

_"How_?" Klaus then had an evil grin and rubbed his fins, menacingly.

"Oh, I have mien ways."

"You're creeping me out."

"Good, I _love_ creeping you out!"

"_Okay,_ I'm just going to pay attention to the news again." And that is what he did. So did Klaus.

"Police are hot on the trail," Terri reported. The TV showed police and their German Shepherds in front of a house with a broken window. The dogs were sniffing around. Surrounding them were 'Police line, do not cross' tapes on fence posts that the police set up. Francine recognized the street, 43 Cherry Street, right away. She stood up. Her eyes wide.

"That's _our_ street!" She said.

"So far, the man nor the body has been found." The TV went back to Terri and Greg in the newsroom.

"_Mom!_" Steve wheezed. Francine knelt back down.

"Oh, sorry Steve." She took out the thermometer. She looked at it while she stood back up. "_107 degrees_!" She looked at her son. "Steve, we need to take you to the hospital and fast!"

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Steve asked, sick to his stomach. "You better do it fast before…" Steve vomited again.

"_Stan_!" Francine said, turning to her husband. "You clean this mess while I go take Steve to the hospital." Stan looked at her.

"_Me_? Why do _I _have to do it? There's others living here, you know. Why not Haley?"

"Nope!" Hayley said, taking Jeff by the hand to their room. "Jeff and I are going to watch _The Last Song_." They went upstairs. Next they looked at Roger.

"I just remembered I left my pizza rolls in the oven." He lied.

"But we just ate." Francine pointed out. "And I didn't hear a beep." But it was too late; Roger went to the kitchen.

"And I'm a fish." Klaus said. "So I can't do it." Stan sighed and stood up.

"Fine, I'll do it." He said. "Since the rest of the family is too lazy."

"Thanks Stan. I knew I could count on you." She looked at Steve. "Steve, can you stand up?" Stan went to the laundry room to get a wet washrag.

"I'll try," Said Steve weakly. He tried to stand up. "Oh, I feel dizzy. Why is the room spinning?" He tried to walk, but his feet wouldn't cooperate. He managed to walk a few feet before falling back down again. Francine picked him up

"Oh, you poor thing. Here, let mommy carry you." She put their coats on and carried him out the door. Klaus noticed that the I-pod was still on and looked at Stan who just came back with a wet washrag. He sat near the vomit and started scrubbing it.

"_Hey Stan,"_ The fish began. "Since poor Steve will be at the hospital and probably will for a while, can I have his I-pod?" Just then Francine poked her head in the doorway.

"Oh, Steve reminded me that _no_ one touches his I-pod." She said. "He says to turn it off and put it up in his room." She then left, closing the door behind her.

"_Darn you Steve_!" Klaus cursed. "I was going to help you get through so many levels!" Just then, Roger came back in.

"I was lying about the pizza rolls thing." He admitted. "I'm sure you already knew that. It's not that I don't want to, it's just…yeah, it's because I don't want to."

"Then can you take Steve's I-Pod from under the table, turn it off and put in his room?" Stan asked. Roger grabbed the from under the table. Instead of turning it off, he started playing it. Stan looked at him. He just got done cleaning up the vomit.

"I said to turn it off and put it in Steve's room." He yelled. "I didn't say 'start playing'!"

"You didn't say I _couldn't_ play either!" Roger pointed out.

"Well, stop playing and put it in his room. Steve doesn't want anybody messing with it."

"I'll put it away, just let me beat this level."

"_Now_, Roger!" The alien went towards the stairs.

"Too late; I'm already playing." He started climbing the stairs. He cheered when he beat the level. "_All right_; high score! Klaus was right, this game _is_ addictive!" He disappeared as he went further up. He came back down a little ways and looked at Klaus.

"Oh yeah, I beat the score that you got for him." He told him.

"_What_?" Klaus questioned. Roger went all the way upstairs again. Stan sighed as he stood up with the rag in hand.

"Darn alien!" He said to himself. "Why must we put up with him and the fish?"

"_Hey_!" Klaus snapped after him. "I _heard_ that!"

The next day, Stan left for work. He was about to put his key in the car when he saw something that made him scream.

"_Francine_!" Stan shouted. "Come, look!"

"What is it Stan?" His wife wanted to know from inside when just got done showering. She put on bath towels to cover herself as she rushed outside.

"We want to see too!" Jeff said, who was playing a game of checkers with Hayley while Klaus was watching.

"Jeff, tell me," Hayley began. "Who gets up at seven in the morning on a Saturday just to play checkers with their spouse while their talking goldfish watches from inside his bowl?" Her husband just shrugged.

"People who love checkers and has a talking goldfish I guess. I used to get up around this time to watch Saturday morning cartoons when I was younger. Now come on, let's see what this is about." He dropped his piece and he and Hayley ran outside as well.

"_Hey_, don't leave _me _behind!" Klaus called after them. He leapt into his cup and headed outside.

"Okay, what's all this hub-bub about?" He wanted to know when he met with them outside. When he didn't get an answer, he looked at what his family was looking at and gasped. There, lying on the grass was a dead body, but not just any dead body; this was the body of Charlotte Henston!


	2. Part 2

Part 2

_"Call 911!"_ Francine shouted.

"I got to go to work," Stan said. "_You_ call 911!" They then heard police sirens.

"I don't think anyone needs to call 911." Hayley told them. "They're already here."

"_Well_," Roger started. "It was nice knowing you." He looked at Klaus. "Except you, Klaus." Klaus frowned. "_Bye, now_!" He then ran behind a tree.

Roger looked out to see the scene that was about to unfold. The rest of the family looked at the police.

A police chief got out of his car and approached the Smiths. He took off his shades.

"George Henston, you are arrested for murdering your wife." The family gasped.

_"What?"_ Stan wanted to know. "I'm not George Henston; my name's Stan Smith. I just found Charlotte's dead body on my lawn, that's all."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, yes I'm sure! What kind of officer are you? What makes you think that I'm George Henston?"

"One of your neighbors pointed you out."

"_What? Who_?"

"That doesn't concern you." The chief took out his walkie-talkie and talked into it.

"I need a lie detector here, _over_!"

"Uh, no need to bother you, but I got to get to work. So, if you mind, I'll…" He was about to go when the police stopped him.

"Not so fast Mr. Smith…or if that is your real name."

_"What_? That's _crazy!_ Of course it is. My name is Stan Smith and I'm innocent, _see_? He showed the chief his badge. "Here's my badge." He put it away in his pocket. "Now, if you please, I'm going to be late." More police came. One of them carried a portable lie detector.

"Put your hand on it." The chief told Stan.

"But, this is really unnecessary." Stan tried to explain. "I'm telling the truth. I am Stan Smith."

_"PUT YOUR HAND ON IT_!" Stan put his hands in the air.

"Okay, okay. But you're greatly mistaken. The lie detector will tell you that." He put his hand on it. "See? I'm not George Henston." The police gasped when the screen flashed 'Lie.'" Stan saw this and his eyes widened in shock. _"What_?". He quickly withdrew his hand. The police chief looked at the other two officers.

"Cuff him!"

"_Noooo_!" Francine yelled. The other policemen held her, Hayley and Jeff back. _"STAN!_"

"But I'm telling you!" Stan told the Chief. "I'm not George Henston! The lie detector's lying." The chief laughed.

"That's preposterous!" He said. "The lie detector _detects_ lies, it doesn't _make_ them."

"But it lied _this _time!

_"Yeah, yeah_!" The policeman who cuffed him said. "Tell it to the judge!" They took him to the car. The policemen holding Francine, Jeff and Hayley back left as well. Francine looked at the Chief.

"_Sir_," She started. "Stan is my husband, I'm his wife."

"Maybe he cheated on you." Francine looked disgusted.

_"What? No, no_! He wouldn't do that. He loves me, he knows better or at least he better or he knows I'll be mad."

"If you say so." He went to his car, got in and left with the others.

"Something's up." Francine told Jeff and Haley. "Come on Haley, let's clear your father and Jeff, let's clear your father-in law." Hayley and her mom started for the car.

"But what about the fish and that crazy neighbor that lives with us who cross-dresses?" Jeff asked. But, they didn't hear him. Haley came back for him.

"Come on, Jeff!"

"But what about…"

"_Come on_!" she dragged Jeff to the car, leaving Klaus alone.

It wasn't until the car drove off and out of the driveway that Roger came out of his hiding place and stood near Klaus.

"Well, what do you know!" Roger spoke. "They forgot all about us. Can you believe it?" He looked down at Klaus. "I mean, I can believe them forgetting you, but not me!"

"Maybe if they thought if you went with them, you would cause chaos and make everything worse."

"_Hmm,_ true, I would do that, wouldn't I? Well, I'll start calling up people. There's going to be a party tonight at the Smiths. You don't talk and I won't lock you up in the basement…. wait maybe I'll do that anyways since you'll betray me and talk anyway."

_"Wait!"_ Klaus said when he saw something from the corner of his eyes from under Charlotte's body. He scooted up and grabbed a slip of paper beneath the body. It was an airplane ticket to Tokyo, Japan.

"So, uh… are they coming back for her corpse or what?" Roger asked. "I mean, they kinda just left it here…"

"It's an airplane ticket to Tokyo, Japan." Roger snatched it.

"_Great_, maybe I'll go to Japan after the party."

"_No!_ Don't you get it? This could be our chance!" Roger looked at Klaus as if he was crazy.

_"Chance?"_ He wanted to know. "Chance to what?"

"George obviously dropped this when he dropped Charlotte in our yard. If we go, we can catch him and become famous!'

"Look Klaus, no offense, but I think the police can handle this. Now, let me lock you up in the basement so I can get my grooveon!"

"_No_, you're not getting this. The police wouldn't know that he's going to Japan and the Japanese police won't know he's a murderer. Only we know so we got to go."

"But the party."

"Look Roger, since we're like the only outsiders of this family; I think this will be a great opportunity to show the Smiths that we can do something, that we're more then 'the alien and the fish.'"

_"But…but_…"

"I think it's time for 'the Fins and the Legman.'"

_"What_? The Fins and the Legman?"

"Ja, the Fins and the Legman, no wait, the Fins _und_ the Legman! Since Steve, isn't here to be Wheels, I can replace him as 'Fins'."

"You can't do that. Wait, isn't that the suggestion you suggested when we were at that mansion but you never got the chance because the Pokémon called dibs first?"

"No, that was the Fins and the Legman, this is the Fins _und_ the Legman. I changed the name so it sounds more German."

"Whatever, again, you can't do that! You can't just replace Steve and give yourself a name. Besides, do you even know _how_ to solve a mystery?"

"Ja; I've seen _Monk,_ those two _Sherlock Holmes _movies starring Robert Downey Jr as well as the other ones, _Nancy Drew, Poirot_ und many more detective films. "

"This isn't like the mysteries in the movies, this is real!"

"So? It'll be nice solving mysteries that's not on TV for a change."

"But this isn't the kind of mystery that the Wheels and the Legman would solve."

"This is not the Wheels and the Legman. This is…"

"I know, I know. This is the Fins und the Legman. Time for a change, but what if I don't want change?"

"It's time, Roger. Change can be good sometimes. We can't stay here when the murderer on the loose. He may strike again."

"Hmm, you're right. But are you sure you want to come along?"

"I'm the only one left. Who else will you enlist?"

_"Teddy Bonkers_?" Klaus asked. They were in the garage. Roger was in his Legman disguise. He looked at the teddy bear that was sitting on the stool. Teddy Bonkers was in his secretary outfit.

"Teddy Bonkers?" Roger asked the stuffed bear. "Do you want to leave your duties as secretary for a bit to be in my detective agency as Paws and the Legman?" Teddy Bonkers didn't say anything.

"Uh, I hate to rain on your parade, but Teddy Bonkers' a stuffed bear! He's _inanimate! _This is stupid, talking to a stuffed bear like it has feelings!" Roger gasped insulted. He grabbed Teddy Bonkers.

"How _dare_ you say that! Steve said it was stupid too! You have two toy scuba divers named Carlos and Charlie! You don't hear me calling them stupid, do you?"

"Fair enough."

He then talked to the bear, comforting him. "_There, there_; he didn't mean that." Klaus rolled his eyes.

"Oh_, brother_!" Roger then put Teddy Bonkers back on the stool.

"You're right. You better stay here and continue to be my secretary and in case something happens when daddy's away. I'll ask someone else, maybe Toshi, Berry, Snot, Greg, Terri, someone other then Klaus."

_"What_?" Klaus demanded. "But why? Why don't you want me?"

"Because you might ruin the agency."

"But I'm the only one who knows exactly what this is about! Besides, I'm sure they have better stuff to do then solve mysteries with a disguised alien."

"You really want to come along, don't you?"

_"YES_!" Roger sighed.

"_Fine_, but you better do what I say and don't mess up!" Klaus saluted.

"Will do!"

"And you need a story." Klaus looked puzzled.

_ "What_?"

"You know, a story. How you came to be and stuff. Like for me I was a race car driver named…"

"Okay, I get it. How about I was a German Olympic Skier whom brain was transplanted into a body of a goldfish!"

"Well, if you want to take the fun out of it."

"And now, like teenage girls would say… _Makeover_! I'll go change." He went into the house.

He came back with a trench coat that was a little big for him, a fish-sized pipe, a fedora and shades.

"What's with the shades?"

"They make me look cool."

"Whatever, you do know that I'm in charge right?"

"Ja, I know."

"Okay, just checking."

"Roger, today we begin a new chapter in a new mystery novel. Today, is the start of the Fins und the Legman!"


	3. Part 3

Part 3

On their way to the airport in Stan's SUV, they saw a boy about twelve go up to George's house.

"What is that kid doing at the killer's house?" Roger wanted to know.

"Maybe it's George's son." Klaus suggested. "This is so wundarbar_!_ We can get more information! Let's go talk to him." So Roger and Klaus got out of the car, locked it and went to the boy.

"Are you George's son?" Roger asked. The boy looked at him.

"Yes." He nodded. "I'm Henry Henston. I'm just getting my little sister's plush rabbit that she left here. It's her 'good luck charm.' She can't go anywhere without it."

"I see." There was silence as Roger stared at the boy.

"Can I get it?" The boy asked, breaking the silence. "You're sort of creeping me out."

"Oh sure!"

"Thanks!" The boy dashed off. Klaus nudged Roger.

"Ask him questions!"

"About what?"

"About _what_? What do you mean about what? About his dad!"

"_Oh_!" Roger then called to the kid. "_Hey kid_!" Henry stopped and looked at him, waiting for what he was going to say. "What do you think of your dad murdering your mom?" Klaus did a fin to the face in embarrassment.

"I don't like talking about it." Henry answered. "Now if you please, I got to get my sister her bunny before we go back to the foster home." He turned back and continued for the house.

"It's like you forgot how to be a detective!" Klaus said. "Here, let _me_ ask the questions!" With that, Klaus hopped out of Roger's pocket and landed on the grass. He took out his pencil and notebook. Roger looked at him oddly. Klaus noticed this.

"_What?_ A good detective always takes notes." Roger shook his head. Klaus looked at Henry.

"_Hey Henry_!" He called. Henry stopped and tried to find where the new voice was coming from. "Sorry about my associate."

"Who's talking?"

"It's me the fish." Henry looked at Klaus in shock. He was about to say something when Klaus continued. "I know you are shocked at why a fish is talking, but we don't have time to clarify. We got to see if we can track down your father and put him behind bars for the crime that he committed. Now we know he's going to Japan, but can you describe him?"

"He's tall." Henry answered. Klaus recorded the information in his notebook. "He has a bushy black mustache and slick black hair."

"Anything else?"

"No, I think that's it."

"Danke. You can go now." Henry nodded and rushed off. Klaus closed his notebook and pencil, put them in his pocket and hopped back into Roger's pocket.

"Okay, let's go Roger." They went into the SUV. Roger buckled in. "The plane leaves at gate A at a quarter to noon at Washington Dullies International." Roger looked at Klaus. "Well don't just sit there, _mach schnell, moch schnell_! We don't have all day."

"I am not your cab driver." Roger just said.

"Just _go_!" They headed towards the airport.

They were on the plane to Tokyo, Japan. Roger was looking in the video section of the plane's official magazine.

"_Ooh_!" Roger said when he found a choice. "The three _Rush Hour_ movies are on here!" Roger touched the buttons on his in-flight TV. When he was satisfied, he leaned back and put his earplugs in.

"_Hey_!" Klaus snapped. Roger took off his earplugs and looked at Klaus. "Where are my earplugs? Maybe I want to watch with you; have you thought of that? Of course you haven't. I saw that _National Treasure 2_ is on here; we can watch that next! It will take us 13 hours and 39 minutes to get to Tokyo! We have plenty of time!"

"Sorry Klaus, I only paid for my set. Besides, you don't have ears. How can you listen?"

"You don't have ears either!"

"I have my ways."

"Then can you put subtitles on?"

"No. Look, I already pressed play and I'm not going back!"

"You can pause it and put them on when the movie starts."

"And waste a good six bucks? No, thank you!" Klaus sighed in defeat.

"Did you bring Steve's IPod? Maybe I can play _Angry Birds_ instead."

"I was playing it all night and it ran out of batteries when I was on level 37. I tried plugging it in to recharge, but I don't know where Steve keeps his IPod Charger. And stupid Stan and Francine, they didn't tell me his number. So, I left it at home."

"Then did you bring the PS3, the DS or the Game Boy Advance?"

_"Nope_!"

"_What_? Then what the heck can I do?" Roger shrugged.

"Don't know, don't care. Now shut up, the movie's starting." Klaus sighed again. Then he heard a voice behind his and Roger's seat.

"_Yep_! Don't worry boss, I did exactly what you told me. I planted the bomb in the bathroom." Klaus' eyes widened. _Bomb_? He went out of Roger's pocket and went between the seats to listen.

"The bomb's designed to blow in seven minutes." The man continued. He was tall, had a bushy black mustache and had yellow hair. Roger and Klaus had seen him before when they were taking their seats. Roger noted that his mustache didn't match his hair color and that it was strange. Klaus had agreed. "Right boss! I'm getting off!" The man then put away his cell phone and left his seat.

_Oh mien gosh_! Klaus thought to himself. He's going to blow up the entire plane. I must warn Roger! He went down on Roger's coat again.

"_Roger_!" He said, tugging on his sleeve. "_Roger! Roger!"_ He shook him. _"Roger!"_ He got on his shoulders and slapped him with his fins. "Roger!" The alien took out his earplugs and looked at him.

"What do you want Klaus? Can't you see I'm watching TV?"

"Roger, in less then seven minutes, the plane is going to blow up."

"_What_?" Roger asked with interest. "_Really?"_

"With _us _in it and a bunch of other innocent people."

"Oh. Wait, how do you know this?"

"I overheard a man talk to his boss on his cell. He said he planted a bomb in one of the bathrooms and now this whole plane is going to explode."

_"Holy moly_, are you sure?" Klaus nodded. "Wait, this isn't one of your tricks, is it? If I get up from this chair and leave, you aren't going to sit in my spot and take my in-flight TV, are you?" Klaus shook his head.

"No, I'm deadly serious."

"I don't believe you." He put his earplugs back in and paid attention to the TV.

_"Come on_; you _got_ to believe me!" And with that, he quickly unbuckled his seatbelt and dragged him away.

_"Wait_, the Chinese girl is about to get kidnapped!"

_"Sorry Roger_, but we got to go _now_! You can get this on Netflix!" As he dragged Roger away he shouted at the top of his lungs. "LADIES UND GENTLEMEN, A BOMB IS GOING TO EXPLODE IN LESS THEN SEVEN MINUTES; I REPEAT A BOMB IS GOING TO EXPLODE IN LESS THEN SEVEN MINUTES; THIS IS NOT A DRILL!"

"_Mom_?" A little kid spoke to his mom, tugging on her sleeves as she read a magazine. "A talking fish said that there's a bomb in here that's going go off."

"_Really _Ben?" The mother asked, not believing him and not taking her eyes off of the page that she was reading. "A talking fish? _That's _a new one!" She flipped to the next page. Klaus and Roger saw that the man went to a door in front of the plane. A stewardess went beside him as he opened the door.

"Excuse me sir," The stewardess told hm. "This door is for emergencies only. I'm afraid if you don't have to go to the bathroom, you'll have to sit down."

"Can it, lady!" The man said as he knocked her unconscious to the floor. The man looked at the world below and jumped. Roger and Klaus went over to where the man was. The man's parachute opened up.

_"WHERE'S A PARACHUTE_?" Roger yelled over the roar of the engine.

_"I DON'T KNOW_! WE DON'T HAVE TIME THOUGH; JUST _JUMP!"_

_"WHAT_; ARE YOU _CRAZY_? WE JUST CAN'T JUMP OUT; WE'RE LIKE A MILLION FEET ABOVE GROU…."

_"GO!"_ And with that, Klaus pushed Roger out. He too jumped.

They were falling. The man opened his parachute. Roger screamed. He tried to flap like a bird.

_ "WE'RE FALLING!" _

"Ja, but falling in _style_!"

"This is no time for overused jokes Klaus! We're going to fall into the ocean!"

"That doesn't concern me; I'm a fish which makes me an expert swimmer!"

"This is payback for the TV, isn't it?"

"In a way…yes."

"I _knew_ it! I knew this was all a plot in your twisted, evil mind to let you watch TV!"

"This wasn't a plot! If it was, why am I falling with you?"

"Good point, but I still blame you!"

_SPLASH_! They splashed into the ocean. Roger bubbled up to the surface. There was a mass of nearby land nearby. He looked for Klaus.

_"Klaus_?" He asked. _"Klaus? Klaus_? Where are you? Are you dead?" Klaus then bubbled up to the surface. He had his cup in his fin.

"In your dreams!" He said. "I just went to get my cup."

"Whatever." The two looked at the plane flying above. "_See_? The plane didn't explo…"

_BOOM_! The plane exploded seconds later in a fiery blast in the sky. Debris fell in everywhere. Klaus looked at Roger.

"You were saying?"

_"NOOOOO_! My in-flight TV!"

"And now, a moment of silence for all the losses." Roger pointed to yellow wig floating on the water.

"What's that?" He wanted to know. They swam to it and Klaus picked it up just as it was about to sink.

"It's a wig." The fish answered. "That man is hiding his identity." Klaus looked and the man was swimming away. The fish started swimming after him.

"What are you doing?" Roger called after him. "We're looking for George Henston." Klaus turned to look at him.

"Remember what Henry said? He said that his dad has black hair. The man swimming away has black hair, a black mustache and is tall. Come on; I think that might be George."

"I thought it was weird that that guy had yellow hair and a black mustache."

_"Ja, ja_, now come on! He's getting away!" He began swimming after him. Roger swam after him.

"Why are you following me?" George shouted.

_"Sir_!" Roger began. "We know you did it; you murdered your wife! Now, we're bringing you to jail…when we catch up to you!"

"What makes you so sure that I'm George Henston? I'm not! I'm Randy Moss, _see_?" George held up his passport. In the corner, a photographed of him in the yellow wig. Beside the picture was the name: Randy Moss.

"Well, I'm convinced." Klaus eyed him.

"Well, I'm _not_!" He held up the wig. "I believe this wig is yours." The man looked at the wig and shook his head.

"I never saw that thing in my life." The man said.

"Are you sure?"

"_Klaus,_" Roger told his friend. "Let's not bother the man any longer. If he says he's not George Henston, then he's not George Henston." George put his passport in his pocket.

"Your partner is right, fish." George said. Roger smiled.

"Thank you!" The man began to swim away.

"Hope you find the _real_ George Henston and bring him to justice!" Roger waved goodbye.

"Don't worry, we will!"

"_You dummkoph_!" Klaus shouted angrily at Roger. "I should let you drown right now!"

"Um, I can swim." Roger pointed out. "So, you can't let me drown. I didn't remember asking a fish to be a part of my detective agency. In fact, I'm the boss, so you're fired!"

_"Fine_! I don't want to be a part of this stupid agency anywhere. Besides, you can't fire me; I _quit_!" He began to swim away after George.

_"Fine_; I don't need you either!" With that, the two swam to the big landmass, climbed out, Klaus got back into his cup, and they both went after George.


	4. Part 4

Part 4

_"SLOW DOWN!"_ Klaus yelled. "Since I don't have legs, I'm not as fast as you are."

"Sorry!" Roger called from behind him. "I can't slow down. He's getting away and besides we're not a team, remember?"

"I realize that and I'm sorry. I can't catch George alone. He's too fast and I'm stuck in this cup and there are no roads nearby so I can't hitch a ride on the back of a speeding car. Try as I might I can't do it. I need you Roger!"

"_Aweee,_ that's so sweet, but no."

"But Roger, my fins are getting tired!"

"Well, you should have thought of that _before_ you quit my detective agency. It's too late now; there's no backsies."

"_But_…"

_"Nope_! The Fins and…"

"Fins _und_!"

"Yeah whatever, the point is like _The Beatles_, we broke up. We are now solo, uno or whatever the world for 'one' in German is. Look, if you're too slow, why don't you just go home?"

"And let you have all the credit because I'm too slow, I think not!"

"You're not on this case anymore Klaus and that is final!" Klaus sighed.

"I didn't want to have to do this but I have no choice." He held his cup with one fin and jumped into Roger's pocket. He got back in his cup.

_"Hey_!" Roger snapped. "Get out of there!"

_"Nien_; I won't! Look Roger, the more we're going to argue, the greater chance that George is going to escape." Roger sighed.

"Fine, but I'm still in charge, all right?"

"Be my guest. As long as I get to rest my fins, that's fine by me. As long as you don't be a stupid detective like you were." Roger sighed again.

"Yeah about that, I was playing dumb to make you want to quit."

"You really hate me that much, don't you?"

"Yeah I do."

"Well, you have me, so you'll have to live with it."

"I guess."

George turned around and noticed that he was still being chased.

"You're still chasing me?" He asked.

"_Well yeah,"_ Roger said. "I mean, you committed two crimes, you killed people. BTW, we had to follow you when the plane exploded. We were in water and the only way out was by following you. What did you expect us to do? _Drown?"_

"Yes."

"Well, I wouldn't have drowned." Klaus put in. "Since I'm a fish."

"You think you're going to get away with it?" Roger asked, changing the subject.

_"Roger_," Klaus told him. "_You_ killed people and gotten away with it. Remember when we were in that limo?"

_"Klaus_, don't tell that man that. That's between you and me. Besides, I'm the Legman, not Roger."

"Right, und I'm Fins, not Klaus." While they were talking, the man pulled out a gun and fired. Roger barely dodged the bullet.

"You'll have to catch me first _suckers_!" And with that, he ran while he rapidly fired his gun. Roger resumed chasing him as he dodged each bullet.

"Where are we?" Roger asked while running and dodging.

"Well," Klaus started. "Considering that Virginia is near the Atlantic Ocean and we only did like half an hour on the plane, I say we're still in Virginia."

_"What?_ George went on that plane, not to go Japan, but to just blow it up? That is just whack!"

"Ja it is."

A helicopter then appeared and hovered over them. The door opened and a rope ladder lowered down to George. George grabbed it. He looked at Roger and Klaus.

"_So long!"_ He called as the helicopter flew higher and higher.

_"Jump!"_ Klaus ordered. Roger jumped and hung onto one of the skids.

"I did it!" He cheered.

"Okay now, whatever you do, don't look do…"

"_Too late_!" Roger looked down at the world down below. He screamed and held on with both hands.

_"I'M GOING TO DIE_!"

"_Nein,_ you're not! Now just hold on und don't even think of letting go. If you do, we're both be goners."

A shot fired. Roger looked. George was firing at them as he climbed up the rope ladder.

_"MOMMY_!" Roger yelled. George grunted in frustration as he ran out of bullets. He laughed at Roger whom was still struggling to stay on.

_"Oh well_!" He chuckled. "You won't last long." He laughed as he went in.

Roger got onto the skid and went to the door.

"What are you _doing?"_ Klaus shouted to him.

"I'm going in, what does it look like?"

"Aren't we going to yell for help? There's about a billion people down below."

"The Legman doesn't ask for help." And with that, he opened the door.

He was about to climb up when George punched him in the face. Klaus screamed as he flew and fell into the coffee maker on the helicopter.

Roger fell backwards and maintained his balance. Klaus's cup fell out of Roger's pocket and down to the world below.

"_Aha!_ The disguised alien said. "You thought that you had me, didn't you? You didn't! I held on, I held…" George growled and tackled him to the ground, pinning him down. His gun fell from his pocket, onto the floor on the helicopter. Roger got him off and ran. George punched and kicked him. Roger growled as well and tackled him, pinning him to the ground. The two tumbled and tumbled, kicking and punching each other. Roger even bit him on the arm.

_"GO ROGER_!" Klaus cheered. "I can't believe I just said that but…_GO ROGER_…I mean Legman, _GO LEGMAN_!"

Roger bashed George's head multiple times on the side of a skid. George did the same with him. The two had black eyes (George had two), puffy lips, broken teeth and were bleeding. Klaus cheered and cheered as Roger punched him unconscious. The pilot, who was now irritated with Klaus, got up and stomped towards Klaus.

"I'll deal with you!" He said. Klaus stopped cheering and gulped. The man grabbed Klaus by the tail. Klaus screamed as he struggled to get free. The man went to the door and held Klaus out. Klaus screamed louder as he saw the world below

_"HELP ROG…_I MEAN LEGMAN_, HELP ME!" _

"Time to say '_bye-bye'_ fishy!" He dropped him. Klaus screamed and closed his eyes, ready for his doom.

Suddenly, Klaus stopped falling. Klaus opened his eyes, looked and sighed in relief. A badly beaten up Roger has caught him in the nick of time!

"You okay Fins?" He asked.

"Ja. I just can't believe you saved me."

"Well yeah, hurting you is my job. I'm not going to let a pilot of a criminal do it for me." Klaus began to tear up.

"That's the most beautiful thing you ever said about me Roger." Roger ignored him and pointed at the pilot.

"You mess with the fish," Roger began. "you mess with me." The pilot backed up. Roger began slapping him with Klaus.

"You sir are a _BAD_ man, _BAD, BAD, BAD, BAD, BAD!"_ Roger looked at the now beat up Klaus as the man fainted.

"How you doing Fins?"

"Just stop using me as a slapping device." Replied a dazed Klaus. "And I'll be fine, also…." He began to have a hard time breathing. "Put me…back…in that…coffee maker."

"Okay." He went to the coffee maker and dumped him in. George, who got back up, crept up behind Roger. Klaus noticed this.

_"Behind you_!" He warned. Roger was prepared. He swiftly karate chopped him and hit him in the groin. He fainted as well. Klaus applauded.

_"Bravo, brovo_!" He cheered. Roger bowed.

"_Thank you, thank you_!"

Roger had tied the two down with the seatbelts that he had broken off from the passenger seat in front and set them down. He was in the pilot's chair, buckling himself in. Klaus was on guard duty, making sure the two men wouldn't move if they woke up. He had the gun in his fins. The men woke up and looked at Klaus with fright. The fish was pointing the gun straight at them. He laughed.

"Look at this Legman! These two are scared and know that I'll shoot at any second if they try anything suspicious."

"_Yeah_." Roger agreed. "That and they probably never had a talking fish point a gun at them before." Roger put his hands on the steering wheel. Klaus changed the subject.

"Do you know how to even _fly_ a helicopter?" The fish asked from where he was.

"No." Roger admitted. "But I'm sure as heck not letting you drive." Klaus smiled.

"You may be in your persona, but you still are the Roger that I know." Roger began to take the wheel. Immediately the helicopter zoomed downwards. Roger tried to pull the helicopter back up but took off the steering wheel instead.

"_Ooopsies_!" He said. He quickly unbuckled and got out of his seat. The helicopter headed straight for a courthouse!

"_HIT THE DECK_!" The alien screamed. He covered his head with his hands as Klaus did the same with his fins. They both shut their eyes tightly.

_SMASH_! The helicopter crashed into the courthouse and made a big gaping hole. They crashed at the near end of Stan's hearing. The jury and judge looked, as well as the Stan, Haley, Francine and Jeff. They all had their mouths wide open.

"_Roger_?" Francine questioned.


	5. Part 5

Part 5

_"Hi Franny_!" Roger said, waving at her.

"What are you _doing_ here?" She asked.

"I'm here too Francine!" Klaus hollered from inside.

"Sorry." Roger apologized. "We crash landed. Carry on with your hearing." He looked at a way to back up. The humans looked at the judge again.

_"George Henston_," The judge spoke in a firm voice. "You are sentenced to 20 years in prison!" Stan, Hayley, Jeff and Francine all gasped.

_"What_?" Roger said in shock. The judge pounded his gavel on his desk. "This case is now closed, meeting adjourned!" The jury got out of their seats and packed up. The judge stood to leave.

_"Wait_!" Roger called. Everyone stopped and looked at him. He jumped down from the helicopter and went to the front of the courtroom. ""Wait, hold everything! I got something to say!" He pointed to Stan. "Stan has been framed!" Everyone gasped except Stan.

"I _knew_ it!" He said.

"And what makes you so sure?" The judge wanted to know.

"Because we got the _real_ George Henston!" There was silence. "I said, the _real _George Henston!" Again silence. "Uh, hold on a sec." He went to the helicopter.

"_Fins_!" He called. "Bring George and the pilot! You're making me look bad!"

"Sorry, I can't!" Klaus shouted back. "They're too heavy! You will have to come and get them! Come and get me too!" Roger sighed.

"This will only take a minute." He told the court. He jumped in the helicopter and went to get them.

He came back with Klaus in the coffee glass and the crooks. The gun floated in Klaus' glass. The alien dropped the crooks to the floor and jumped down with Klaus. He went to the center again.

"As I was saying…we got the real George Henston right here!" He pointed to the two tied men, struggling to get untangled. "And his accomplice who flew him in this helicopter, thinking that they could get away! But they were _gravely_ mistaken!"

"And you _are_…?" The judge wanted to know. Roger turned to him.

"Scott Silvermore, private eye! I would show you my ID but it's in the pocket of my other trench coat which is being dry cleaned at the moment."

"I thought Francine called you Roger." A jury member spoke.

"I'm Roger Silvermore! I solve crimes from all over!"

"I see." The judge said. He looked at Klaus. "And you brought your fish along with you because….?"

"Oh, my fish goes everywhere with me. For some reason he's my good luck charm. Can't catch a crook without him." Klaus smiled up at him.

"I see. So, why is he in a coffee glass? Won't he die in a…" Roger was now irritated.

_"Look sir_!" He barked. "Are we going to talk about the case that I just solved or are we going to talk about my stupid pet fish?" The judge looked shocked.

"Okay, continue."

"Well I was on a plane…"

"_We_ were on a plane!" Klaus corrected, whispering to him.

_"Shush_ Klaus!" Roger hushed him. "They do not need to know the minor details." Klaus was offended by this.

"_Minor? Minor_! _I_ saved your _butt _from that plane explosion!" Roger sighed.

_"Fine_!" He looked back at the judge.

_"Anyway_," he continued. "My fish and I were on a plane to Tokyo, Japan because we found the ticket. About half an hour later, I overheard George say to his boss on his cellphone that he planted a bomb in one of the bathrooms."

_"I_ did that you _dumkoph_!" Klaus whispered loudly to Roger. "You can't lie in court!"

_"Klaus_," Roger told him. "I can't say 'my fish overheard a bomb was going to go off and saved me from a fiery explosion,' they won't believe that! I'm just going to lie so that I don't have to explain." Klaus crossed his fins across his chest.

_"Fine_! But between you and me_, I_ told you about that explosion and if it wasn't for me, you would have been dead with those others on board."

_ "Yeah, yeah_, you're my 'hero'."

"_Roger Silvermore_," The judge spoke. "Are you going to continue or are you just going to whisper to your fish?"

"I'm going to continue!" Roger told him. "So anyway…uh, shoot, I lost my train of thought. Where was I?"

"You were talking about how you overheard a bomb was planted in the bathroom."

"Oh _yeah! _So anyways, we saw George parachute into the Atlantic so we went after him."

"Did you warn anybody about the bomb?"

"Yeah, I tried." He then did some fake crying. "Those poor, innocent people! They all died because of a heartless man!" He then was calm. "Sorry, I got emotional there. I found a wig in the ocean and saw that the man swimming away had black hair, was tall, and had a black mustache just like George's son described to me earlier that same day. So we followed him into a helicopter with his buddy. I fought them off with my super cool karate moves and we crash landed here in court and here we are now."

"So," The judge said. "What you're saying is that George Henston is this man here?" He pointed to George. Roger nodded.

"Correct, Your Honor." Next, the Judge pointed to Stan.

"And he is Stanley Smith?"

"Actually," Stan put in. "I just like to be called Stan."

"Mr. Smith, no talking unless you are asked."

"Sorry Your Honor."

"You're crazy," George spoke. "I already told you I'm not George, I'm Randy Moss."

"Isn't Randy Moss the name of that football player?" A jury member wanted to know.

"Yeah he is!" Spoke another. "And that sports reporter!" George chuckled.

"What do you know?" He said, going to Klaus' glass. "Small world." He was about to grab the gun when Roger spoke.

"I wouldn't touch that gun. My fish just pooped in there."

"_What_?" George asked in disgust. Klaus looked at him in puzzlement.

"Yeah, it's hard to tell because of all the brown."

"No I didn't." Klaus whispered to Roger.

"Well, _poop _in there already!" Roger whispered back. "Poop, pee, it doesn't matter. Just do one or the other."

"Roger, I can't poop and pee whenever I please. It comes when it comes. Talk about _disgusting_!"

"_Fine_, party _pooper_, _ha ha,_ see what I did there? I did some potty humor in a _courtroom_! Uh-huh, I am _so_ bad!"

"But I can do _this!_" Before George could pick up the gun, Klaus bit him on the finger. George withdrew his arm quickly, taking Klaus with him.

_"OWWWW_!" George yelped in pain. He threw Klaus off. Klaus landed before the jury, gasping for breath. The jury screamed.

"_I'll sue you for this_!" George cried out in agony. Stan, Francine and Hayley all ran beside Klaus. George pulled out the gun from the coffee glass and pointed it at them. Everyone gasped.

"What are you _doing_?" Stan asked. "We're in court. You're not supposed to point a gun at us in court."

_"Shut up_!" George snarled. "I can do whatever I want and now the jury and judge will watch me kill you all before their very eyes!"

"You're _insane_!" Roger spoke. "First you brutally murdered your wife, then you killed all those people on the plane, and now you're going to kill these people in court in front of a jury and judge? What kind of crazy psychopath_ are_ you?"

"A _really,_ crazy one. Now, _bye-bye_!" The Smiths except Roger all shut their eyes tight and hugged each other. George pulled the trigger but all it made was a 'click' sound. George looked at his gun in confusion.

_"Ha-ha_!" Klaus laughed weakly. "You…ran…out of bullets…on the helicopter….remember?" He coughed. He looked at the fish.

"But you said you would shoot."

"I did….(cough) but…(cough, cough) I didn't because I knew there weren't any bullets! I may be a fish but I'm not stupid." He coughed some more. The bailiff rushed forward and seized George.

_"Okay_!" Said the judge. "Will somebody _please_ give that fish some water? This is just _sad _seeing him like that. I can't take it."

Roger grabbed the coffee glass, went over to Klaus and dumped him in. Klaus got his breathe back and did a huge sigh of relief. He was sure that if he weren't in liquid for three more seconds, he would be dead. The judge raised a questioning eyebrow at the alien.

"Can he survive in that?" Roger looked at him.

"Oh, this is water." He told him. "It just looks brown because he poops in there a lot. I'll clean it after we're done here." The judge and jury looked disgusted.

"Okay, that's disgusting, but I'll let it pass." Suddenly, Stan's lawyer pulled out his own gun and pointed it at them. Everyone gasped again.

"Don't worry George." He told him. "I got a gun and it's fully loaded." The bailiff was forced to let George go.

_"Kenny_?" Stan wanted to know. "What are you doing with that gun?"

"I'm not Kenny!" He went to a closet in the corner of the courtroom and opened the door. Inside was a man, who looked exactly like him, who was tied up. The tied-up man screamed but the tape on his mouth made it impossible to understand. "_This_ is Kenny!" Stan's 'lawyer' said. "I'm Emmet Janks, Kenny Janks' evil, identical twin. I impersonated him. Pretty smart huh?"

"My _gosh_ you look alike! No wonder you did that terrible defense and kept calling me George during the trial."

"Correct."

"But why would you do this?"

"George and I made a deal. I would help him kill his wife if he would help me kill my rivals who put me out of business. They were all flying to Tokyo for a conference on the same plane, so we decided to blow it up. Unfortunately, he was seen murdering Charlotte, so I decided to convince the local authorities that you were George. At least until we got out of the country with our hired pilot friend, here. Now we're here and…well, just shut up so I can kill you."

"You've gone mad!" He laughed. "You're all mad!"

"I guess we are!" He laughed and laughed. "Now, say goodbye!" He was about to shoot when all of a sudden a horde of police officers stormed in the court room. An officer came up and took the gun right out of Emmet's hands.

_"What_? Who called the police?"

_"I_ did!" Francine said. The officer put some handcuffs on Emmet. Another one did the same to the pilot. One was about to do one to George when he ran for the door.

"You can never get me coppers!" He shouted. Roger ran and put his foot out. George ran into it and tripped. He tumbled and fell face first on the floor.

"Yes they can!" The disguised alien said. George mumbled in frustration as two police officers helped him up then handcuffed him. The officers then took the criminals away. Roger blew a raspberry at George as he looked back as he disappeared from the door with the others.

"That's right!" He said as they all went outside. The judge went with them, so did Kenny whom the judge untied. "You _better_ go! _No_ one messes with Fins and the Legman!"

"Fins _und_ the Legman!" Klaus corrected. Roger looked at him.

"Fins, I'm this close to breaking your coffee glass and strangling you." He gestured how close he was with his hands. "_This _close! If the court members weren't here, I'd do it now."

"I can't believe it." Stan said. "My fish and alien just saved me from 20 years of prison."

"Well, believe it Stanly." The alien told him. "And we're not 'the fish and alien,' we're 'Fins and the Legman!"

_"Und_! Und, Fins _und_ the Legman."

_"That's it!_ I don't care if we are with the members of court." And with that, he threw Klaus onto the ground, smashing the glass. Klaus flopped around, screaming, and slipping away as Roger tried to capture and strangle him. "Come here, so I can strangle you!" The judge sighed.

"I'll get a zip lock bag and fill it with water." He went back in the building as the others watched as Roger ran in circles after a screaming Klaus.


	6. Part 6

Part 6

Before going home, The Smiths decided to visit Steve in the hospital.

"Hey Steve," Francine said as the family walked into the room. Klaus was in a zip lock bag in Roger's pocket. A 'get well soon' balloon was tied at the end of Steve's bed and a copy of _To Kill a Mockingbird_ was on the table next to him. "How are you feeling?" She sat on the edge of the bed.

"Great Mom!" Steve answered. "The doctor said that I could come home tomorrow."

"_Terrific!_" She looked at the balloon. "Who gave you the balloon?"

"Grandpa and Grandma." Steve answered. "Snot, Toshi, his sister, Akiko, and Barry also visited me. Snot gave me a card that he, Toshi and Berry all signed." He grabbed the book from the table. "Snot gave me this book that they just started in my English class." Steve turned to his dad. "After I read this Dad, I'll become a man you want me to be, and learn how to kill a mockingbird." Stan and Francine exchanged worried glances. Hayley went to Steve's side.

_"Steve_," She started. "I read that book when I was a freshmen in high school and it isn't really about a mockingbird or how to shoot one." Steve looked surprised.

"_What?_ The title is _misleading_? It _lied _to me? Talk about a bad title! I was so _eager _on how to kill a mockingbird!" He then looked at his father. "I heard you got arrested Dad. Mind telling me about it?"

"It's a quite a story." Stan answered.

"Well, it's only seven and visiting hours doesn't get done for another two hours and I'm not going anywhere in this hospital bed, plus I just learned that this book might suck, so shoot Dad. Tell me, I'm all ears." Stan sighed and sat down in a chair.

"Remember that news we heard on the TV that night you went to the hospital? The one with George murdering his wife?"

"Yeah. What about it?"

So, Stan told his son why he got arrested and how Klaus and Roger ended up at his hearing. Roger and Klaus told him their story about being Fins and the Legman.

_"Und_!" Klaus said. "Fins _un_…" He then saw Roger's expression. "You know what? 'Und', 'and', it really doesn't matter." Roger smiled.

"So, let me get this straight." Steve said when they were done. "You and Klaus were detectives without me?"

"Well we had no choice." Roger replied. "You couldn't do it since you were here. I wanted a different partner but the fish convinced me to let him be my partner instead."

"He even wanted Teddy Bonkers." Klaus told the fourteen year old.

"That stupid stuffed bear?" He asked. Klaus nodded.

"Sadly yes."

"Well, I guess it's his life and he's in charge of it. I still play with toys at fourteen, so I really can't complain."

"That's right!" Roger agreed. "And don't you _forget_ it!"

"But you know what would've made a great sleuthing parter? A dog. Especially Kisses because he was a beagle. We had three others, but sadly, they all were in only one episode."

"Just like _Wizards of Wavery Place_! They were all excited about keeping a dog, which they did. But the next episode on and onwards the dog was never seen or heard of again."

"Max mentioned him in one episode." Hayley piped in.

"But unlike that show," Steve said. "We had _reasons_ to why we don't have them anymore."

"What happened to Coco?" Klaus wanted to know.

"Oh, she was just your April Fool's Day joke." Roger answered. "After that, Stan said we had to send her back to the pound. She got adopted to a nice family through."

"That's the problem." He said. "Dogs and this family of Smiths don't mix."

"But aliens do!" Roger said.

"Und fish!" Klaus added. "Who's really a human being."

"I wouldn't mind a cat." Hayley suggested.

"_No, no, no_!" Steve said. "No cats! I had a bad encounter with one!"

"And they'll think I'm food." Klaus said. Hayley sighed.

"Fine, no cats."

"But we can get one when we move out babe." Jeff reassured her.

They stayed until they were kicked out. Francine kissed her son and told him that she would be back to pick him up in the next day when he's ready.

When they hopped out of the SUV, Hayley screamed. Stan's eyes widened at what he saw. There, still in the same spot when they left was Charlotte's now decomposing body.

"I can't believe it's still here." Roger spoke. "Didn't one of our neighbors see it? I mean, it's been a while."

"I'll call the police." Francine said and went inside.

"Bring the body in." Stan whispered to Roger. "I don't want the neighbors getting the wrong impression."

"You got it Stan!" The alien saluted. The rest of the family went in. Roger dragged the body inside.

Roger put the body on the floor and put Klaus back in his bowl.

"The police will be on their way." Francine announced. "They said they have a lot of crimes, but they'll come as soon as they can."

"Good." Stan said. "Sooner the body is gone, the better." He shut off the lights. They went upstairs to get ready for bed.

"Is somebody going to move my bowl?" Klaus asked in the dark. "Or move the body at least or am I going to have go to sleep knowing that there's a dead body not too far away from me? _Hallo_?" He sighed. "Figures." He then fell asleep.

In the morning, Klaus awoke from a scream by Hayley. The rest of the family came rushing in.

"What is it, babe?" Jeff wanted to know.

"Did they close down your favorite clothes store?" Roger asked. Hayley pointed to the body still on the floor. They all gasped.

_"OMG_!" Roger observed. "The body is still here." Hayley looked at Francine.

"I thought you called the police about this, Mom." She said.

"I did." Francine answered.

"Call them again, honey." Stan told her. "Maybe they forgot because they were too busy at keeping America crime-free."

"That's what I'm going to do." She went to the kitchen to make the call.

A few minutes later, she came back.

"They're on their way." Francine told them.

"You said that last night." Klaus said.

"Well, they're '_really'_ coming. They said that they're sorry they couldn't come earlier, they were so busy with arresting people."

"I _told_ you they were keeping America safe." Stan said.

"Anywho, I got a call from the hospital. Steve's ready to be picked up. So in the meantime, I want this body out of here by the time we come home. Roger, I'm putting you in charge of the body. If the police aren't here by the time I come home, hide it."

"_Got it Franny_!" Roger saluted.

"Are you sure you want Roger?" Hayley asked.

"You're right, Stan I want you to…"

_"Whoa_!" Roger said. "Francine, you don't _trust_ me? That's _cold!_"

"I can't believe I'm saying this but, fine, Roger, _you_ do it." Roger cheered.

_"Yes_! I won't let you down!" He saluted again.

"That's what I'm afraid of. Stan, Hayley and Jeff, you make the 'welcome home banner' and bring out the beverages."

"What can I do?" Klaus wanted to know.

"What are you talking about? You're just a fish. Just stay in your bowl and…make sure they're all working." Klaus cheered.

_"JA_! I _love/hate_ being a fish! Will do!" He saluted. And with that, Francine left the house. The rest of the family got to work, except Roger who went to the kitchen to get some wine. He came back, set it on a coaster, sat on the sofa and turned on the TV to _House."_

"Roger," Klaus said to him. "Remember, if the police aren't here by the time Francine gets here..."

_"Yeah, yeah_." Roger said. "Hide the body, whatever. I'm watching, fish." He drank some of his wine.

An hour later, the family all herd a car drive up the driveway. Stan, Hayley and Jeff all ran out of the kitchen. Jeff carried the banner they had made. Roger was still watching _House_.

"Mom's home!" Hayley called when she saw Francine get out of the car and opened the other door for Steve.

_"Roger_," Stan stated. "Francine's here. Did the police show up?"

"No." Roger answered.

"Then did you hide the body?" He looked down. The body was still there. Roger looked at him.

_"Oh_? Was I supposed to do that?"

_"Roger!"_

"Mom and Steve are coming closer!" Hayley called.

"Just hide it in the kitchen for now, okay?"

"Okay."

"And stop watching TV!"

"I will. Just stall Francine until this is over!"

_"Now_, Roger!" Roger turned of the TV and went down. He grabbed the body by the feet and started dragging it towards the kitchen.

"Just be lucky that I can watch this on the Internet." He picked up the body and threw it into the kitchen. He came back. He brushed his hands together.

"The deed is done. Sorry, I always wanted to say that."

"Now we all hide! Hayley shut of the lights!"

"Roger that, Dad!" And with that, she shut off the lights and went into hiding like the rest of her family behind the couch.

"Sorry." Roger told Stan. "I wasn't listening. I was thinking if House's patient was going to die or not. What did she say about me?" Roger asked.

"Nothing, Roger." Stan told him.

"No, seriously, I heard my name."

"_Shut up, Roger_!" Hayley said.

"No, really, what did you say?"

"_I SAID SHUT UP, ROGER!"_ Hayley screamed.

"Okay, shuttin' up!"

"You got that from Laurie Halse Anderson's _Prom,_ didn't you?"

"Yes I did and I'm proud of it!" She sighed and resumed her hiding position. Roger did the same.

Steve and Francine entered the house. Steve looked puzzled.

"Why is the house dark, Mom?" He wanted to know. Francine turned on the lights. All at once, the family jumped out from behind the couch. Jeff and Hayley held the 'welcome home Steve!' banner from each side.

_"SURPRISE_!" They all shouted. Steve's mouth fell open.

"You did this for me?" They all nodded.

"We just wanted to give our son a warm welcome when he returned form the hospital." Stan spoke.

"I'm speechless. I don't know what to say. Let me get some Pepsi. I'm kind of thirsty." He went towards the kitchen. Stan looked worried.

"_Um, son_? I wouldn't go in there yet." Francine gave him a look.

"Why _not _Stan?" She asked. Stan was about to answer when Steve screamed.

"WHY IS CHARLOTE HENSION'S DEAD BODY DOING ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR?" Francine narrowed her eyes at Stan and folded her arms over her chest. Her husband laughed nervously.

The family went in the kitchen, even Klaus in his new cup. Roger carried his wine glass in.

"You hid the body in the kitchen?" Francine questioned. "In plain sight? You didn't think anyone would've seen it if they just walked right in?" She looked at Roger madly.

"Well, yes." Roger answered. Francine did a face palm.

"Why, Roger, why?"

"That's what you get for giving the job to a lazy jack butt alien." Klaus said.

The doorbell then rang.

"I'll get it." Francine offered. She went to the door and answered it. It was the police.

"Where's the body?" The police chief asked.

"It's right this way officers." She led them to the kitchen Roger hid behind the counter.

Two officers picked up the body and put it in the stretcher.

"Sorry." The chief apologized. "We would've been here earlier but busy, busy!"

"Sure you were lazy butts!" Roger shouted from behind his hiding place. The officers looked confused.

"Did you hear that?" The police chief asked Francine. Francine grinned nervously.

"Heard what?" She asked.

"That noise."

"I didn't hear anything. Did you Stan?"

_"Nope!" _Stan replied.

"Funny, I thought I heard a voice." The police chief said.

"You _did _you lazy bum!" Roger yelled.

"There it is again." He looked at Stan and Francine. "Are you sure you guys didn't hear it?" Francine pushed the police chief quickly out the door. His buddies followed.

_"Nope, now bye_!" And with that, she shut the door before he asked another question. She sighed with relief and joined her family back into the kitchen.

"Well," Roger started. "A case has been solved by the Fins and the Legman!" He drank his wine.

"Hey Rog," Klaus said. "You think there will be a sequel?" Roger shrugged.

"Who knows? It's the author's decision if the Fins and the Legman will get another case or not."

"Over my dead body!" Steve said.

"_Really_ Steve?" You're going to end the story like that?"

"Please don't say 'dead body' Steve." Klaus said. "I don't want to wake up to see another dead body on the floor."

"It's a figure of speech, Klaus!" Steve told him. "I'm not going to die; I'm just going to be really angry and kill you and maybe Roger too if I feel like it."

"I know. I just don't want to wake up to another dead body is all." Roger made a toast with his wine.

_"To Fins and the Legman_!" Everyone except Klaus and Jeff sighed.

_"To Fins and the Legman_." Everyone but Klaus and Jeff all chorused like zombies and then they watched as Roger drank his beverage.


End file.
